The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Bros

They’re obnoxious, entitled, and endlessly repulsive. But what can they teach us about living well?

Photo by Or Hakim on Unsplash

I am not a bro. I was never a football star, never got my kicks “smashing chicks,” and I’m not super into EDM or Acro-Yoga.

I imagine you’re not like that, either. If I was forced to speculate, I imagine bros don’t kill their time reading think-pieces on Medium.

[They’re definitely writing them, though — looking at you, random dude who spam-posts four listicles a day sharing trite MRA-adjacent platitudes, I’m onto your ruse — as well as sharing listicles from the Forbes contributor network.]

Whenever I think of bros, I think of three archetypes. Straight white women will know these as “The 3 Douchebags You Meet on Tinder”:

• Brad — Republican Goldman-Sachs VP bro who loves Luke Bryan, quarterbacked his high school football team, and was President of Delta Kappa Epsilon
• Chad — Democrat tech-startup bro who blares Migos, played college soccer and used his dad’s VC money to coke himself out after securing an eight-figure seed round
• Connor — Spiritual entrepreneur relationship-coach bro who listens to binaural beats, remodeled a VW bus, surfs nearly every morning, rarely…