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Stop Blowing It Like You Always Do
A simple strategy to get more of what you want and to self-sabotage less.
Silver linings are in short supply these days, but, fuck it — I’ll toss one in the kitty: Thank your lucky stars you didn’t try dating me in 2017. I was twelve parades’ worth of red flags. At the risk of self-incrimination, let me wave a few for you.
In March 2017 (or, 1-month A.D., Ahead of DAMN..), I worked the VIP tent at a four-day World Golf Championship event sponsored by the tech giant that employed me. I didn’t work it alone; they paired me with a witty, cool, and adorable gal my age. (Big mistake.) By our final shift together, the veil of “no, this is a work thing” was translucent at best and nonexistent at worst. You haven’t burned until you’ve felt the heat of holding your face an inch apart from a romantic interest you know you can’t kiss for over a minute. (Go ahead; try it.)
That summer, I conjured the cojones to ask her to a cozy little speakeasy where my friend tended bar. She said yes. I was excited; I hadn’t taken a woman on a date in nearly two years. (I’d asked several women out; I was often rebuffed. For an explanation why, please refer to the opening sentence of this post.) This was my big chance; I dug her; I was amped.
