Okay, so, I’m going to do this, which … gross … but hear me out.
I explored this same topic. I think I really just want the party. Like, don’t get it twisted, I love love. I love intimacy. I love sex and building a life with someone who I want but don’t need and who wants but doesn’t need me. All that said, a marriage feels a bit outdated as an institution. It feels superfluous. It feels too binding. I’m of the mind that they should function like sports contracts, where you sign each other to 2–5 year deals at a time, and then as the contract runs out, you renegotiate and you’re able to leave at any time — no harm no foul. The party (ceremony) should be no-frills. No one remembers the centerpiece, the dress, the anything. Nothing. When we go to weddings, we think of three things: open bar with good liquor, solid tunes, good food. That’s it. Give me that. I know I’m on an island to a degree, but, having seen so many divorces and having been to so many weddings that were just “meh” I think we would do well as a society to mellow the fuck out with how we view both weddings and marriages. ☺