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How to (Successfully) Find Love in 2023
Y’all are doing the dating thing all the way wrong.
I don’t know how you do it. You’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s, and you’re trying to date in the Year of Our Lord 2023. In the era of Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, Raya, OK Cupid, and The League.
Here you are — staging professional photos, hiring consultants to optimize your profile, and deploying ghostwriters to come off as playful and delicious as possible.
You’re reading up on red flags, green flags, pink flags, and yellow flags. You’re weary of nice guys and pick-me girls.
You’re scared you’ll get ghosted, breadcrumbed, benched, catfished, cuffed, freckled, gaslit, love-bombed, pocketed, roached, slow-faded, stashed, wokefished, or zombied.
You’re healing so you can break your cycles of eclipsing, gambitting, groundhogging, haunting, and orbiting. Maybe you’re exploring dry dating. You’re probably stressing over situationships and soft launches.
[Author’s Note №1: Did I google “Glossary of Dating Terms 2022” and regurgitate them? You bet. Was there even one term that described anything remotely positive? No.]
God, this all sounds so fraught and exhausting. Y’all know this is supposed to be fun, right?
