Hey Lious, thank you for sharing. I see you. And I feel you. If I may offer you a few words:
First, that you are brave for sharing this with me, that I have no idea what you are going through, specifically, or why you are scared, specifically. I hope you are not in any real physical danger. If so, I hope you are able to get to safety, someplace.
Now, judging by your Twitter TL (I did some rudimentary stalking for context clues) we live vastly different lives in vastly different places, so I hope I’m not overstepping. I can tell you that suffering and fear are universal. They’re human things we all share and all experience — albeit differently and on different levels.
Second, it is okay to be afraid. Life is scary. We take risks. Calamities befall us. Much is left uncertain and true order is almost total chaos when you zoom the lens out wide enough.
Third, life does not turn out okay. You almost certainly won’t do what you initially set out to. People leave us. People die. And eventually you will, too. Hold that thought, however, because I want to tell you something important.
Armed with this information: that you have your *own* *unique* life experience that’s truly yours, that life is scary and chaotic, and tragedies and missteps and maladies are as common as the cold, you can begin to move forward in peace. You can chart your *own* course through the storm. It’ll be occasionally lonely, often hard, downright scary, but it’s yours. And, ultimately, it’s all you have. And worth taking the wheel on — every day. *You* are worth at that *minimum* just by breathing.
I hope you find strength and grace to go to where you want and where you are wanted. If you are searching for meaning, your search will define it. If you are searching for purpose, that search for purpose becomes it. If you have good people around you, hold onto them. They will be your lighthouses in the tempest. And everything that you love to do, or go, or be near, immerse yourselves in those things as graciously and as gratefully as possible. You got this, L.
And, as Jessi said, *hugs.*