A Letter of Aspiration
Seduction, sabotage, home, and hope.
I’m put together beautifully
Big wet bottle in my fist
Big wet rose in my teeth
I’m a perfect piece of ass
Like every Californian
So tall I take over the street
With high beams shining on my back
A wingspan unbelievable
I’m a festival, I’m a parade
— The National, “All the Wine”, Alligator (2005)
So the coast shapes the ocean, the ocean shapes the coasts. These are the equal yet opposite forces that combine to form the self.
That’s how I started a 10,000-word essay about ketamine infusion therapy. It’s also a perfect opening salvo to address my past year marooned on a Caribbean island — a year that, in retrospect, looks even more unhinged than it felt in media res.
It’s Aug-tember-tober-ish, so it must be time for my annual confessional check-in. What are we up to … six of these? Christ. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.
[A warning: If you’re new to the Letter series, these aren’t as polished as my usual fare. These are director’s commentary; not art projects.]
Wander and Lust
I arrived in San Juan, Puerto Rico, on September 6, 2023. A friend graciously offered me a place to stay for a three-week vacation. After my planewreck summer, I needed one. I was…
