(Miami, Florida // Photo: John Gorman)

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A Decade of Dying

My 2010–2019, as seen on the internet.

John Gorman

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[Author’s Note: This was the longest con. I wrote a memoir of my life throughout the 2010s (with some mild backtracking for context). Much of it eventually ending up on Medium — in scrambled order, in full public view. Today, I present its entirety as one final, exhaustive, impenetrable piece — at long last, in chronological order.

This is the story of a lovesick, anxious, anonymous, unremarkable Rust Belt gutter-punk white-boy who moved from Buffalo to Austin and changed his life —For better? For worse? Perhaps a lot of both? — one essay at a time, and a recap of the lessons he learned along the way.

This is the story that nobody asked for and no one wanted — a colossal, 20-part delusion of grandeur befitting the commemoration of a decade’s end. Will you dare to read it all? Even worse, what if you already have?]

Table of Contents

I. When the Magic Runs Out

II. A Warm Wind

III. How I Got Here

IV. A Brief History of Hypochondria

V. How I Did It

VI. Everything Was Beautiful And All Of It Hurt

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