Clear path. Lesser goal. Can’t lose. — I used to date. It was a fucking blast, and I was terrible at it. Literally, no one I’ve ever dated became a serious relationship, until the pandemic rendered dates impossible and I met my current partner — hey! two years together! — via being witty on the Internet and…

For me, anyway. Your mileage may vary — One of my least favorite subgenres in the Content Industrial Complex is the trope where one moderately successful white guy quotes some bland quasi-wisdom and talks about how he uses it to achieve big things and now “so can you.” Like, c’mon buddy. You know that shit ain’t novel or…

Just walk through the open doors. — I think about white women who do yoga a lot. I don’t mean this in a fetish sense: I mean this very quizzically. This isn’t a think-piece about the cultural blindness that comes when an ancient Eastern spiritual art gets recontextualized and reappropriated as a fashionable fitness craze. No, that’s…

A pep talk, of sorts. — The first thing to go was my dignity. It’s Summer ’16, and I had gotten drunk at a Fourth of July BBQ and embarrassed the hell out of myself and the woman I was dating at the time, and I don’t believe she ever looked at me the same way…

Even if this isn’t the end, people are behaving like it is — Let me start by just asking … how are you feeling today? I mean, really. Do you feel a palpable sense of dread? Disgust? Rage? Sadness? Hopelessness? All the above? Hard same, friends. Hard same. It’s 1:30 p.m. local time and I just remembered I’ve yet to brush my teeth…

We don’t even get the day off work to grieve. — In America, violence is the click track. In 1619, it counted us in. In 2022, it still does. I know it’s hard to hear with everything blaring so loudly. There has almost never — not in my lifetime, and I assume not in yours — been a time when we…

Buffalo — 05.14.22 — [*deep breath*] This isn’t an essay. This won’t be edited or even read before I post. I’m not offering the definitive take, nor a particularly novel one. I’m ruminating from a perspective I specifically have because of where specifically this happened. [Of paramount importance, though, and since I’m writing the…

Life is short — live dangerously. — [*lights cigarette*] Some of you will find what I’m about to say offensive — bordering on reckless. But there’s something I want to say because it’s something that I feel viscerally, and I wanna get it off my chest and on the record, and what better way to say what’s…